This post is a collection of quotes from the book - The Mating Season by P. G. Wodehouse.
In this life it is not aunts that matter but the courage which one brings to them.
There seems to be a lot of low-spiritedness kicking about these days.
Nobody can call Bertram Wooster a fussy man, but there are moments when he feels he has to take a firm stand.
I am told by those who know that there are six varieties of hangover - the Broken Compass, the Sewing Machine, the Comet, the Atomic, the Cement Mixer and the Gremlin Boogie.
The Woosters do not bandy a woman’s name. Nor, for the matter of that, do the Jeeveses.
Whenever there is a job to be taken on of a kind calculated to make Humanity shudder, the cry goes up “Let Wooster do it”. I’m not complaining, I’m just mentioning it.
How sharper than a serpent’s tooth, I remember Jeeves saying once, it is to have a thankless child, and it isn’t a dashed sight better having a thankless aunt.
It’s curious how, looking back, you can nearly always spot where you went wrong in any binge or enterprise.
I have said it before, and I will say it again, all magistrates are asses. Show me a magistrate and I will show you a fathead.
The cheers of the multitude frequently act like a powerful drug upon young gentlemen with inferiority complexes.
It has been well said of Bertram Wooster that though he may sink onto rustic benches and for a while give the impression of being licked to a custard, the old spirit will always come surging back sooner or later.
I don’t know what your experience has been, but mine is that there is very little percentage in having a weight lifted off your mind, because the first thing you know another, probably a dashed sight heavier, is immediately shoved on. It would appear to be a game you can’t beat.
It’s curious how, when you’re in love, you yearn to go about doing acts of kindness to everybody.
I have always found it difficult to think of just the right come-back when people say ‘Oh, Bertie!’ to me.
You probably consider that you are being broad-minded, but you want to be careful how you let that so-called broad-mindedness grow on you. It is apt to become mere moral myopia.
When you are slated to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel, the idea of getting a kindly friend to take your place is always an attractive one; the only thing that restrains you, as a rule, from making the switch being the thought that it is a bit tough on the kindly f.
While there is life, there is hope, sir.
Police constables are not built for speed. Where you catch them at their best is standing on street corners saying ‘Pass along there’.
It’s the most extraordinary sensation, swaying a fairly vast audience. It does something to you. It fills you with a sense of power. It makes you feel that you’re a pretty hot number and that you aren’t going to stand any nonsense from anyone.
There are few things more sickening for a mother than to learn that her only child has eloped with a man whom she has always regarded as a blot on the species.
If there is one thing that is the dish of the decent-minded man, it is seeing misunderstanding between loving hearts cleared up, especially in the springtime.